When It Rains It Pours

Today started off pretty damn good. My first day of senoir year at my school. I had the butterflies because I was neglecting to see Niko. When I was waiting for my best friend Heather after 1st period, Niko walked up to me and gave me a big hug saying "We have 6th period together!"
My first thought.."Oh my luck..."
Then later at lunch I saw him and his girlfriend.
Niko ignored me during 6th period, and visa versa. After school of course I see him again with his girlfriend. My freakin luck...but then the next event literally put me in tears...
I lost my phone.
I know....a pathetic reason to cry, but it's not because of my social life, but it's because of all the memories that I have on that phone. I have soooooo many pictures all the way from sophmore to now. Pictures of my nieces, pictures of birthdays and pictures of when I was hit by a car. That is stuff I like to hold onto! Pictures are worth a thousand words...that's why I love to take pictures on my phone since I don't have a camera.

My love life and now my photographic life are basically crap now. Seeing a couple together makes me miss that feeling of having that someone "special".
Don't worry world, boys aren't the number one thing on my mind. It's just sometimes...Maybe I'd like to be that girl that has the boy holding her hand.

*sigh*...What a fairytale world that is. Anyways, today wasn't the best day. I only pray for better days yet to come.

Where art thou Romeo?

I think this is the loneliest week I've had all summer. I don't know why. I just feel by myself. I know I have my friends, but its with the guy part. I guess you can say I miss having that special someone.

I met this guy this week named Daniel. He practically saw right through me. I've never met someone like that before. Usually I can hide so easily...but Daniel, no he basically got to the core of me without actually meeting me in person. I actually cracked and cried...and he really didn't have to say a thing. That has never happened to me before.  I guess I'm more noticable then I thought.
The stupid thing is that he's freakin 25 years old and I just met him on xbox...and I can't get him out of my mind. I feel sooooo stupid. In a week or two, I'm more than sure I will look back at this and think how stupid I was to constantly think about this guy. Once school starts I am sure I will back to normal...I hope.

I like to deny it...But at the end of every day...I'm still praying for my Romeo...
And of course....God has his plan...And I'll be patient...even it kills me.

http://youtu.be/FTWLwCvoA4s

Love Sick

There's always one guy that leaves me weak in my knees...my ex Pierre Digue. Seeing him today made me practically melt. I know we will probably never be together again, but he's always someone that I can say I have ALWAYS been in love with. He is just soooo attractive and his accent is to die for. When he talks, it is like music to my ears. We haven't always got along. Sometimes we get into fights that can last 6 months or longer. He makes decisions in his life that I don't always agree with, and sometimes I feel as if I should be important to him than I am. I know I just have kick myself into reality that he and I are probably never going to be an item again. I try all the time and sometimes it works, but once I hear his voice...I'm back in fairytale land again.

I have no idea what to feel. My friend Ray has sparked interest in me. I just have to take faith in the Lord, and I know he will show me the way.

Just Waiting...

Its strange how people tend to miss the ones that we know we don't need at all. For me, that's my ex Onier. He's a pain in my ass and the only reason why I laugh is because his face is a joke. But for some reason he's completely on my mind....I don't know.

I guess I just miss the feeling of being cherished or even just noticed by a guy. I mean I don't want a relationship at all. I'm still discovering myself and who I am. I don't need a man in my life to do that for me...however...it's just that feeling. I don't need a man in my life to be happy, I guess I just would like one. I mean it'd be nice.

Every girl fantasizes for their dream man....Even I am beginning to fantasize. I don't know, I feel kind of stupid. I guess I am just waiting for the Lord to give me an open door for a fresh start in meeting someone. I know I have to leave it all in His hands.

Vacation of the Year

I had a pretty amazing vacation over the past 4 - 5 days. I got to get to know my friend Alex pretty well. There are things about her I certainly don't like but there are also a lot of good things about her. Her parents are certainly characters. They are people I do like to be around.
I have figured out that I am a city girl. I have fallen in love with the city of San Diego.  The people are amazing and the enviroment is alive which speaks to me.
I had a nightmare with Niko and his new girlfriend in it...It reminded of what I used to be, which scared the hell out of me.

On a slightly lighter note, I guess my ex Onier and I are trying to fix a few kinks that seperated us. It's strange how we always seem to find each other again....It's all in God's hands so I will see where that goes.

Who knows what's in my future.